he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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