My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
