you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
