She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
