kristin has been a bad kristin
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
