omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
