I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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