i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
