Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
