No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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