billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
