dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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