i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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