you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is my gift to your gina
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
