You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
