Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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