You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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