Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
