I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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