you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
