You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
