how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
