Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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