One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am midnight drunk by noon
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
