woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
