They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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