so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
