She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
