Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
