lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
