I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
