Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
