Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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