I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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