He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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