We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
