Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
