yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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