Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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