So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
