Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize