so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
