the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
