her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
