well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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