Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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