I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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