It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
