Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
