I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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