She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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