have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize