and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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