he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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