ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize