Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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