She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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