The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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