dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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