After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
