Do you still have your period?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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