She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
